I've been away for what seems so long.
The last post makes me so sad to read. I was so frazzled, even reading the post reminded me that I was trying to keep things calm, but boy was I shaking. My bf, whom I cared deeply was troubled that I was heading back home. Mind you, I understand that his mother was dying, I KNEW she was. There were too many nights were she was intoxicated with prescriptions and couldn't keep her head up straight, literally. She was a mess.
I loved that woman. Told me to take care of her son. I TRIED. TRIED so hard. I always supported his art dreams, his reasons to go back to school, his ability to take the driver's test. I kept him motivated for the longest, but ultimately, 3 months after leaving, his mother overdosed on a combination of SOMA and anti depressants.
I can recall one night as my then bfs little brother and his friend were over and his mom was hanging her head so low in anticipation of falling over, drooling from the mouth, eyes half shut, and red and wet.
I wanted things to work so bad, even dismissing the fact that he was not someone I loved. I don't think I ever loved him.
She died on Dec 10 at 2pm. I know because my BF called me.
I can only wish that his sister got clean. I can hope that his brother went back to school, that he is okay.
I will never know as blocking him on social media was my savior. I don't have any ill will. Again, I leave stuff out in hopes of erasing that part. I can only hope that he's a better man than he was yesterday.
Don't do drugs.