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Existential Crisis: My Journey to Great Leadership

     I’m sorry that I’m being so narcissistic when I write but I hope that some of the things I write down do inspire some of you to explore your identity as well. It’s a very powerful thing to know yourself and what you contribute to the world.

     I would also like you to know that even adults need help too. I want to make it a point to let you know more about what I discover because I know that some of the things I go through will be of interest to you. Life is going to get interesting and tough as all of you apply for college and become experts in different fields. I look forward to that day! Therefore, I hope you tune in and feel free to let me know of anything you think I should consider in this journey.

     At this point of my life I am incredibly busy and swamped with work for school. I'm also currently in the midst of an existential crisis. For those of you that don't know what that is, I'll explain. An existential crisis is when an individual questions the very basics of his or her life. This means they start to question whether his or her life has any meaning, purpose or value.

    I'm more than incredibly sure that I know that my life does have meaning, purpose or value a majority of the time. I definitely know what goals I want to or will accomplish and what type of person I want to be. In fact, I want to inspire and be a great leader to others. However, times are rough and I can't help but think much about life and it's meanings.

    I keep having some of the most senseless things happen to me. I’ve had one of the worst professors ever. I’ve fallen in love with the wrong person. I’ve had my gallbladder removed. I had to visit the doctor recently to make sure that I did not have breast cancer. I ended up not having breast cancer and had to check if there wasn’t a benign tumor in my brain.  My friend told me a very important secret that I can’t reveal but makes everything seem even more confusing. Finally, I’m trying not to develop an anxiety disorder.

      My body and my mind are tired. Sometimes, I just want to sit down and do nothing. Then, I remember that I have so much work ahead of me and want to accelerate through things. My body gives out though. All sorts of pains arise and I can’t move that much. So, I am taking things slow and trying to have faith that everything will be fine. Everything happens for a reason. I need to take care of myself first. I will be up and running as soon as I get the energy.

      I love my life. It's been pretty interesting living twenty-five years. I have grown. I have also learned much and continue to do so. I'm a genius and that's just never going to change. My relationships with others and with myself continue to evolve. It's a little scary but so far I've learned that being in an existential crisis is not entirely that bad. It just means I'm becoming more awesome by the second. I'm very strong and in the process of becoming a great leader.



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