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Friends, Friends, and the Vast Difference Between

 

"A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets."

                                    -Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

 

                For the longest time, friends had never really been important or desirable for me. I'd never wanted to have lots of friends to share things with. To be honest, for a while, I hadn't had any friends (I went the entire fourth grade without a single person I called a friend). Making everything worse, I still don't know how to be a friend. Really. Loneliness wasn't that hard or painful so I sometimes resort to it and push everyone away.

                It's not that hard though and I've come to that realization. But it hurts sometimes because I sit there and I watch everyone I call my 'friend' pick someone over me. They walk by and choose someone to tell their secrets to and rarely am I the one they choose. My own fault really, I'd gone so long not being friends that I'd had forgotten this part. 

                There are moments where I am the colleague, where I am the friend, and where I am the person in between. But I know I have to make a change. A friend isn't there just when you pick them. A true friend is there when you don't need them. I will change, for them.

                So I'll sit here. I'll sit here and wait and when you're ready to move to a new place, I'll drag my chair there. There'll I sit yet again. And finally, when you need me, I'll be there. 

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Tags: before, blah, book, difference, fall, friends, happened, i, idea, just, More…no, terrible, truth, what

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Comment by April C. Davila on December 25, 2013 at 8:10pm

This sounds a lot like my life at the moment and who I was in elementary.

Just to confess to you, creating FRIENDS is hard, but having BEST FRIENDS is harder.

It's not impossible. I can tell you are very aware of what you lack, you are very smart  and perhaps this is what you need to push you in the right direction. Perhaps, changing what you do, like moving your chair a little closer,  is one thing you've done to change the situation. The next step is to make small talk. Trust me when I say that learning to talk to strangers is easier when you begin at an early age.

EVERYONE says complimenting something that they wear is a definite must, but you strike me as a girl who wants the ability to get to KNOW someone deeper than the exterior.

Try complementing their intelligence, the way they respect their teachers, how kind they are when a substitute is present.

True friendship is a slow process, but never impossible.

I hope this helps and I hope all goes well. 

<3

 


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