"A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets."
-Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall
For the longest time, friends had never really been important or desirable for me. I'd never wanted to have lots of friends to share things with. To be honest, for a while, I hadn't had any friends (I went the entire fourth grade without a single person I called a friend). Making everything worse, I still don't know how to be a friend. Really. Loneliness wasn't that hard or painful so I sometimes resort to it and push everyone away.
It's not that hard though and I've come to that realization. But it hurts sometimes because I sit there and I watch everyone I call my 'friend' pick someone over me. They walk by and choose someone to tell their secrets to and rarely am I the one they choose. My own fault really, I'd gone so long not being friends that I'd had forgotten this part.
There are moments where I am the colleague, where I am the friend, and where I am the person in between. But I know I have to make a change. A friend isn't there just when you pick them. A true friend is there when you don't need them. I will change, for them.
So I'll sit here. I'll sit here and wait and when you're ready to move to a new place, I'll drag my chair there. There'll I sit yet again. And finally, when you need me, I'll be there.