Before I gave my life to Christ, I realized that there was something in me that really like to help people. When I was helping those around me, I had the wrong intentions. I wanted people to like me, praise me, thank me, and think good of me. But I still like helping because I got what I wanted. It got to the point where I stopped helping people because no one appreciated it anymore, (wrong intention). My self-esteem sank to the ground because I evidently had the (wrong intentions), reason for doing so, so I thought I lost the desire of helping, counseling those around me. Although, trying to stop helping the unappreciative people around me, I continued to, unknowingly, helping others. Although, I didn’t define it as doing so. It was still so. I hated helping people, but I like it because it make me feel good about myself. SELFISHNESS
AFTER GIVING MY LIFE TO CHRIST,
After giving my life to Christ, I was a majorly confused because I learned that I still had every intention of helping others around me. But because I knew that before I gave my life to Christ, the intentions weren’t right, I found my self still confused.
I went a year knowing that I still like to help others. I stood my distance away from the wise Christians: The pastors wife, the leaders, and the servants. I was wrongly convinced that these people were favored in the church. That these were the only people that meant something to the Church. You see, that was pure selfishness. That was the thinking of the world. The people in the world are like the person I used to be before I knew Christ.
After two years of attending the Church that I still attend, I learned that the desire to help people was a gift from the Lord. But it wasn’t a gift when I was in the world, because I didn’t Love the Lord. You see, after two years of biblical studying, getting to know the wise, leaders, and servants in the church, fellowshipping at church and outside of church, the Lord put it on my heart to start giving a hand within the church.
In November of 2011, the church moved to a different location. The Lord put it on my heart to help within the move. Every since then I’ve been serving the Lord. I absolutely love serving the Lord!!! I like knowing that others can see the love of the Lord in me. True happiness is when i’m serving Him. I don’t want people admiring me when I serve God. I want them to praise the Lord, thank the Lord for his servants, and gain the desire of wanting to know God more, to understand where my strength comes from. The strength to serve the Lord and not myself. I don’t want people to thank me without praising and thanking God. And when people do thank me, I lift it to the Lord. I thank the Lord that others can see him.
The gifts of help isn’t forcing yourself to help someone when you don’t really want to. It isn’t hateful (you shouldn’t hate helping), avoidable (you shouldn’t avoid it because you’re afraid of what others will think or say), it isn’t selfish (wanting others to admire you, etc.) It is simply the gift God gives so that others within the church, and outside of church can see God within you, the love of Christ, the true servanthood within that comes from God. It’s serving Him, that is true happiness, true love, that is just TRUE!
So, I serve the Lord because I love him, I put him first before anyone and anything. God knows my heart, he knows that when I serve him, it is me using his gift that he gave me. I absolutely admire God, and thank him for his Love.
I am a servant!